MishaIt wasn’t part of the plan, yet here we are. Again. It’s funny how life works. To live, we need money. To have money, we need a job. And for the average person without the right network or a sprinkle of nepotism, that can look like joining the endless humiliation ritual of applying for jobs.
All your life’s work reduced to a couple of pages of paper in a line with hundreds, maybe thousands, of others. I honestly don’t know how recruiters do it; it’s a good thing AI is around. It has to be one of the most soul-sucking routines I’ve ever endured. I would rather walk on Lego, but in reality, I wanted this life just not this part of it.
Whether you got your ass fired, made redundant, or quit, there’s usually a strange sense of relief at first. Being stuck in a routine that primarily enriches someone else eventually takes its toll. At some point in the day, while selling your soul, showing up when you don’t want to, code-switching, and hiding at lunchtime, you wish upon a star that one day this will all end. Maybe not literally (don’t worry, I’m getting help) but free yourself! That long-awaited lie-in, never seeing those sh*tty colleagues again, reading the book you always forget on your commute, saying yes to going out because you have the time and energy. If your bank isn’t completely bones, maybe even a cheeky sabbatical. Enjoy the little things: cooking, going for a walk with no time limit. All the things that make you feel alive again hit you… until reality something else does…
Reality
Ah, reality. The rude awakening. Bills, bills, and more bills. Being alive, especially in the Western world, can feel like watching the metre tick in a black cab. And then there’s your self-concept. We live in a society where we define ourselves by our jobs before introducing ourselves. The worst part? Nobody really knows who they are. It’s always: “Hi, I’m Bob, I work in retail,” or “Kate from asset management,” never “Hey, I’m Savanna, I enjoy storytelling,” or “I’m Paul, I have a passion for horses.”
I remember being asked to do this exercise at work, ironically, and struggling to answer. Like trying to prepare lines for reading a book last in class, I was scrambling mentally. Who am I and what do I like? I had decided I was Misha, the consultant, ready to shape my entire personality around a job I didn’t even know I hated yet. Shouldn’t it be the other way around—or at least both? But I digress; we’ll come back to this.
Unemployment eventually hits the stage where it just sucks. Without discipline or a watchful eye, very quickly, you lose track of the days. Screen time skyrockets. Sleeping and waking patterns go haywire. The pump from the start diminishes into days of depression. Even if you’re diagnosed or not, the symptoms are very easy to experience. That darkness, the hopelessness, and the urge to tweak after the hundredth rejection email “Thank you for your interest in applying for xxx role, unfortunately…”—UNFORTUNEATELY!! That line alone nearly put me in a mental asylum. You already feel unfortunate enough, and these emails arrive like unfriendly reminders: “On this occasion, although your pockets have holes, we will not be replenishing them. Enjoy your broke endeavours.”
Questioning Everything?
This lifestyle can make you question everything. What is my purpose? Am I not vibrating high enough to quantum leap? Maybe I’m meant to be an entrepreneur! Did I eat anything today, yesterday, or maybe too much? You might even find yourself looking forward to weekends like you used to feed yourself the illusion of relief. The anxiety, stress and hopelessness of job hunting feels like the worst job ever.
Shame can creep in slowly. You withdraw socially, reluctant to meet anyone, let alone new people. God forbid people outside your family know you’re unemployed—they’ll forever be in your business, not because they care, but because they’re nosy.
Being the disappointment in the family, the epitome of shady jokes, the endless comparisons to peers, you don’t get a break. Your mind remembers you’re jobless, your environment reminds you, and the cherry on top? People. You begin to realise just how much emotional intelligence is lacking in the world, or how lucky some people are to always have it all together. That’s a life I’m sure I’ve never experienced. At least, not yet.
Despite the highs and the lower lows, there’s a neutral side to this period. Reflection, resetting, and rebranding. This is a time once prayed for, now finally here. Once you return to full-time work, you may never have this much free time again. Never say never. Life has a way of showing you shege!
I hate to say it, but the game is rigged to an extent. Sometimes you’re overqualified, sometimes underqualified, and often, it doesn’t even matter. Job descriptions can be laughably exaggerated. To someone unfamiliar with the business, it could be intimidating but consider this your sign: shoot your shot. You miss 100% of chances you don’t take.
Knowing what I know now about corporate HR, recruitment, and office dynamics, I can’t get stressed. Decisions can hinge on irrelevant factors like someone skipping lunch or an argument with a colleague, whatever. Focus on what you can control. In my opinion, the essentials are: positive attitude, eagerness to learn, open-mindedness, and being a team player.
I’ve always regretted wasting time worrying. The job or opportunity WILL come, in fact, it’s already on its way. One day you’re submitting applications, the next week you could be working somewhere new. It happens. I regret the time spent drowning in shame and sorrow. Depression can hijack situations, yes, but you need to give yourself grace. Not having a big circle can blind you to the fact that this is a normal process, there are options to get help. Especially in this economy, God help us. If this recession worsens, it might be time to move to Mars. But even when it feels like the end of the world, it’s not. You can use it as motivation—until that runs out. Then what?
Ground yourself. This is a means to an end. Confront your situation. Call your bank, GP, or whoever you need to, to give yourself space and allow things to land, but don’t let it all crumble. I know that sick feeling when people pity you, they don’t really know you and will forget your name by lunchtime. Nobody cares as much as you do.
Reflect. Understand your past to navigate your present. What did your last experience make you feel most of the time? Which position are you aiming for next? What kind of environment will help you thrive, not just survive?
Reset. Once your vision is clear, align with opportunities. Don’t focus on obstacles—focus on making your vision a reality. Set SMART targets. Just because you have time doesn’t mean all of it should be spent endlessly scrolling job pages. There was more to life before this, and there certainly is now.
Rebrand. Even slightly. The beauty of life is that you can start over endlessly. Adjust to your situation, but know you have free will. Every experience has a lesson. Even if it shatters you, it might be time to rebuild and redefine yourself. Become the person you need to be. Shed old skin, plan, execute. Sometimes you need to lie a little, be delusional and creative, convince yourself who you are. Once programmed into your brain, your world aligns.
Habits and Consistency
It isn’t magic. Wishing on a star and wondering why things don’t fall into place won’t help. Good, consistent habits get you further than anything else. That’s why you need to lock in. Atomic Habits by James Clear helped me implement good routines, kick bad habits, and stack productive days. So, pack your bags, it’s the end of your doom-strolling and wasting life away era!
Acting like you’ve already “got it” really helps. Wake up early. Get ready. Go somewhere. Anywhere. Cheap cafes, parks, libraries—thankfully, some things are free. I pretended I was going to work just to create momentum at first, also to get everyone off my pack. After some consistency, I quickly landed a gig! Don’t ask about the science, just know the wheels were already in motion—you have to join in.
You weren’t put on this earth just to work so use this time for self-discovery. One hobby can go a long way. I started writing again after losing my passions, and myself, for an extended period. Now I’m grateful; I am rediscovering myself and have a new attitude toward life. Momentum from learning and returning to hobbies is therapeutic. Don’t give up. Writing, gaming, sewing, workouts you name it. Ready to leave the house? Dance classes, gym, sport. Exercise was my saviour. That first run felt like death, I went way too fast, but after that? It was a breeze. Get moving. Seriously!
Finally, get help. If you think you’re alone, you’re just stuck in your head. Use available support banks, government, community. Don’t spiral; get up and keep going.
Have you ever lost your mind during your unemployment era?
Tell me about it…
