The Quarter Life Crisis: This is 25…

What is it about the ungodly pressure of turning 25?

So, let’s get something straight, somehow a quarter of a century of your life has already gone, and now you’re thinking about the next three quarters left. Mind you, you’re probably not a psychic so those 75 years aren’t necessarily guaranteed…

Who said that?

Someone had to if we’re being real. Everyone scrambles to make sure they’ve got every inch of life figured out whether it’s chasing abs, praying your finances might finally start to make sense, wondering who you even are and don’t even get me started on relationships or the stress of birthday planning. All so you can wake up on the day feeling… relieved? Proud? Okay?
Honestly, okay would be more than enough for me. But even then, there’s that lingering voice in the back of your mind, recalculating and re-envisioning the next move. Does it ever stop?
If you’re anything like me, the pressure is stealing your peace of mind. And that’s no way to live. At first, I’ll admit, it felt motivating, it definitely fuelled some good habits and consistency. But before long, the misery caught up with me. I crashed. I always considered myself a non-conformist, yet here I am like everyone else, hypnotised by social media’s overnight millionaires or lifestyle influencers, wondering why my 27th side hustle hasn’t blown up yet. Also wondering if I’ll ever have bridesmaids at my wedding with my non-existent partner. I had to sit with the all-too-common feeling, this is not where I thought I’d be at 25.

Comparison is confusing us.

Everyone’s paths are scattered. Some are parents. Some are married or both. Others have moved away, launched businesses, settled down, or are starting over. The list goes on. They didn’t lie when they said comparison is the thief of joy. Sometimes, the path isn’t always linear, and does it need to be? Don’t get me wrong, there are some milestones I’m genuinely glad I haven’t reached yet (hello, marriage and motherhood), but I still want to be a millionaire by tomorrow! A little deluded? Maybe. But a girl can dream. Still, the only limits we have are the ones we place on ourselves. And while we’re being honest, we all need a little accountability. I recently heard a quote that hit me hard:

I know, ouch.

Being rich, in my opinion isn’t just about the money, I consider other factors like health, my circle and creating wholesome memories to look back at. It’s also about our mentality, who we think we are and how our choices and habits shape us which ultimately creates our reality. There are so many influences that contribute to how wrong or right we are about our self-perception. This isn’t always our fault either. Thankfully we’re living in a time where childhood traumas, neurodivergence and mental health are losing their taboo tags so we can actually see the bigger picture of why things are the way they are. These unpaid elements in our story weren’t our doing but is still our responsibility to live through and sometimes undo.

The good thing about self-awareness and accountability is that you have free will to change. Sometimes, regrets resurface. The bad habits we swore we’d get rid of, like that ex (yes this is your sign) that can prolong low vibrational states like shame, my personal frienemy. The opportunities we missed. All the could’ve, would’ve, should’ve moments. The endless possibilities can feel overstimulating even exhausting. We spend so much time wishing on a star, but truthfully? Doing beats wishing every time.
Here’s what I think we should feel when we wake up every day, especially on our birthdays:

Grateful that we even woke up. That we get one more day to try again or giving yourself the grace to just exist. Instead of counting what’s missing, start counting what’s already here. Appreciate the little things. The more you notice your blessings, the more they seem to multiply.
Most importantly acceptance. Not in a “settling” kind of way, but an empowering one. Accepting where you are is the most honest way to change where you’re going. This is an ERA your ERA. God knows I’ve had so many, nice girl era, heart break girl era, villain era, broke girl era, might still be there but I digress. Every moment we have even if it’s not our best is here to serve its purpose. It will eventually pass and just be a memory to look back at, maybe even laugh at because you swore you were killing it but in reality you were so cringe and cringe is okay too! Own it!
You never know the real reason why you don’t have that those things you want now. Maybe there are lessons you need to go through on your journey. Maybe you need to become the person who can maintain that blessing so it’s not a matter of you having it today and losing it tomorrow. You want to have it for as long as it serves you. I’m not a religious babe but here is a Bible quote I love.

In simple terms, you might well be the underdog now, but you’re in your waiting season. When your time comes you will take off to the skies and look down at how far you’ve come and say MAMA, I made it!

There’s no age limit on starting again. There is so much to look forward to and yes, riding out the bad times is going to be worth it one day. Time is expensive, very much priceless, at least for now, and you never understand you’re spending it until the moment has gone. I mean… 2015 was ten years ago. Let that sink in.

We must stay focused. Living for the future matters but so does being fully present now. Life is very much about humans having a messy, magical and usually unoriginal experience. There is no problem you have that hasn’t already been solved by someone somewhere in the world. The best part about problems is that they eventually sort themselves out. You’re allowed to be unsure. You’re allowed to look for answers. You’re allowed to dream big! Enjoy the journey whilst you’re still making it to your destination. That is the gift of now.

Lets hope I take my own advise. Until next time OX